2024-07-07
On Donny's Funeral scene from The Big Lebowski (1998)
I want to talk about one specific scene from one specific film today, mainly because of my emotional reaction to it whenever I have the chance to see it - which is quite often, surprisingly.
The scene I'm talking about is the ashes scattering scene from The Big Lebowski, one of my all time favourite movies.
I'm not quite sure what it is about this scene that makes me love it so much. Of course the section of this scene that everybody remembers is Walter scattering the ashes themselves and the wind literally blowing them back into The Dude's face - and I'll admit, it's fucking hilarious and never ceases to make me laugh - but that overshadows the actual eulogy beforehand.
It's an emotional bit of dialogue for sure, and it has the honour of being the only film scene that has ever been able to move me to tears as a man, but I think what makes it so fantastic is it's simplicity, and it's focus on Donny's part in the small friendship group made up of The Dude, Walter, and Donny.
The first line kicks me right in the feels from the off: "Donny was a good bowler, and a good man."
Goodman delivers it with a hint of a grin on his face, and a sense of happiness in his tone of voice - it feels incredibly uplifting to me; Walter as a character puts the initial focus on the characters' shared interest in bowling, and to me, the open admission that Donny was a good bowler (as we see throughout the film) feels like an immense show of respect from these two guys, and it shows that - despite the constant pisstakes and banter directed towards Donny - these guys really loved their mate, which is incredibly heartwarming to me.
I think this is because from my perspective, culturally as an Englishman, this kind of negative-on-the-surface derogatory humour directed at Donny up until this point is a sign of great endearment amongst male friend groups, and the final eulogy scene cements that friendship between these characters and makes it all the more funny and heartwarming to watch on screen with repeat viewings. The eulogy scene is the pay off for those who see the constant "Shut the fuck up, Donny!" as pure abuse on Walter's part and it typically changes their perspective on the friendship - such as in the case of Steve Buscemi himself when he first read the script.
The line immediately after, for me, is certainly the most impactful: "He was one of us."
In my opinion "one of us" is the greatest complement a bloke can give to a friend, and in the context of The Big Lebowski it's still impactful to a wide audience because it means that Donny was a good enough man to be accepted by these two outcasts in Walter and The Dude. Goodman's delivery of the line, with a slight emotional stammer - as if Walter is struggling to find the right words to describe his friend - just adds more emotional weight to the line in my opinion.
Of course, I'm sure somebody is bound to say, because we're getting to that point: "Yeah, but clearly Walter doesn't give a shit because he feels the need to link Donny to the Vietnam War, like he does with almost everything!"
Yeah, no, I don't agree with this line of thinking on the Vietnam moment. I think, whilst it has comedic value and is funny, it still shows Walter's true love and respect for Donny - because he links something he feels is incredibly important and sacred with the death of his friend. A true sign of how much he values Donny. Equally, it makes light of a tragic situation without being insulting to Donny (but not necessarily The Dude, as we see at the end of this scene) which is noble on Walter's part in my opinion. Despite what some may think...
Equally, this moment can be read somewhat differently - in the way I usually view it based on Goodman's delivery - in that Walter has to go off on the Vietnam tangent, and list all the battles and such in order to stop himself from crying. Which is just so upsetting yet uplifting to me at the same time, and yet again proves Walter's love and respect for Donny.
Lastly, to quickly wrap this up because it's running longer than I thought and I still need to proof-read, the final line: "Goodnight, sweet prince."
Yeah sure, it's a bit cheesy (no, scratch that, very cheesy - we're talking stuffed crust and extra on top here) and a little bit camp, but it's iconic amongst us fans, and nevertheless a very melancholic line. It neatly caps off a very underrated movie monologue and the implication it gives referring to Donny like royalty is the final nail in the coffin for winning over viewers that think Walter and The Dude are terrible friends to Donny. I love it, and I can say wholeheartedly that I would want somebody to say it at my own funeral.
Cheers for reading my blathering, until next time.
-- Joe
